Look out lads, he will sink you!
I have a great respect for Firemen. As a now retired Paramedic, I have had many experiences of working with Firemen. I think they deserve every penny they get for the work they do. They have to obey orders blindly. When orded to dash in to a burning building, they do it unquestioningly.
When faced with the truly awesome sight and sound of a burning building at first hand it is not difficult to admire the bravery (or stupidity) of someone who will sprint into its bowels
A Fireman by nature is easily led, he is trained to follow orders without question as part of a team. This is why I think the forces are so well suited to filling in the gaps while they strike. This is also why (I think) that they are going to be led down the garden path towards disaster by handy Andy who I warrant will have plenty of cash for the Christmas festivities unlike the people he is spurring on to an ignominious end
Hello, thought you might all find this quite amusing!!! Love carolxx
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee:
Ridge hall computer assistance; may I help you?
Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect.
What sort of trouble?
Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Went away?
They disappeared.
Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Nothing.
Nothing?
It's blank; it wont accept anything when I type
Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?
How do I tell?
Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
What's a see-prompt?
Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
There isnt any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
Does your monitor have a power indicator
What's a monitor? Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you that its on?
I don't know.
Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes
into it. Can you see that?
Yes, I think so.
Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.
Yes, it is.
When you where behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?
No.
Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Okay here it is.
Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your
computer.
I cant reach.
Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?
No.
Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark.
Dark?
Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window.
Well, turn on the office light then.
I can't.
No? Why not?
Because there's a power failure.
A power... a power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still
have the boxes and manuals and packaging stuff your computer came in?
Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store where you bought it from.
Really? Is it that bad?
Yes Im afraid it is
Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Tell them that your too ****ing stupid to own a computer.
Well, that's my opinion any way. See what you think. This is the text and photo for an EBay item:
Never seen one on ebay, it did work not long ago, but i got
rid of my biscuit tin monitors so i cant test it as of today, not been dropped
etc so i cant see whats changed, comes with single 40 sector drive, room for
3.5, i have some lying around and cables so i will chuck them in and its up
to you if you wanna set that bit up. I cant remember if theres any extras
inside, but this is a damn rare peice of hardware, wish i didnt have to sell.
It will come WELL PAKCED, i dont charge for handling, that p*sses me off,
i only charge the postage cost, maybe about 8-10 squids..... Payment in 7-10
days please. NO people with no feedback, if your genuine please email me first,
sorry about that. Ask me any questions, but like i said i cant test it now
and what you see is what you get. Can collect if in Sheffield.
Time wasters. I am at a loss to understand why people do it.
This is one of the reasons I am not collecting bits to pass on any more.
This fellow sent me the following e-mail enquiry on 20/01/2002:
Quote: "INTERESTED IN TAPE ONLY BBC B £30 GET BACK 2 ME ASAP 2
ARRANGE DETAILS CHEERS MATT ESSEX."
I replied with all the details. He replied the same day with:
Quote: "OK CHRIS THANX I'LL SEND PAYMENT WEDNESDAY BY CHEQUE DETAILS WILL BE ON BACK 4 £40 MY ADDRESS:- MATT *******, **************, *****,********. 01708-******* ANY PROBS!!"
A week later, nothing had arrived so I sent an e-mail prompting. This was the reply on 29/01/2002:
Quote: "SORRY CHRIS HAD COMPLEATLY FORGOTTON ABOUT THE bbC WILL SEND U CHEQUE ON FRIDAY."
On 17/02/2002, after I had still received nothing in the post I received this reply to an e- mail I sent:
Quote: "Strange, Cheque has not cleared have canceled it and sent a new 1 2 u 2day. This has gone a little wrong sorry about this Matt"
Finally on 19/03/2002 I received this e-mail after a further prompt from myself:
Quote: "Gotcha I don't want old stuff mate cheers c u around!!!"
What a twit! This person gets a vitual poke in the eye from
me :-) 
Anyhow Matt, I don't have any BBC B's left for sale now Yah Boo Sucks. You
have a face like a squish tomato (Nigel
Molesworth). Your father was a hamster and your mother smells of elderberry.
I wave my private parts at your Aunties (badly remembered Python)
Vote here to console me! Matt is a twit or view the count without voting by looking at the number at the very bottom of the menu in the left hand pane of the 8BS website
.
Click on the thumbnail for the full horror of it
Hewlett Packard 690c Deskjet. The Bain of my life. I HATED this bit of equipment.
It has cost me HUNDREDS of pounds and wasted HOURS of my time. AAAARRRGGHHHH
I answered this fellow with a very short message, pointing him towards the ideal help, who happened to be a person who I like a lot but I know for a fact takes about 17 years to answer mails. Text copied faithfully from the original mail:
Hi, i came accross yor website and wonder if i could as you a few questions.
I have got some hardware recently, to be honest i know nothing about them,
i
used Spectrums in the 80's, and infact still do today, so avoided the beeb
stuff on purpose!
Anyway recently i have got the following hardware, and i was wondering if
you knew anyone near to me, in Sheffield who knows who to test the stuff
etc.
So far i have 4 beebs, 2 work for sure, some have DFS roms and others, 2
make funny sounds, but hey thats all a beeb could do anyway! a Master, been
told it works but not even powered it up yet, 4 5.25 drives, 3 are twins, 4x
black 3.5's, again dont know if these work but if they do i wil use them for
my speccys, about a 1000 5.25 disks, books tapes and loads of other junk,
and a pile of monitors, oh and some A3000 ariches too.
Theres roms etc and some manuals.
If i know what works and what doesnt, i could put a half decent, well halfs
a too strong word a beeb, a set up that works and i can play about with it.
If you could help i would be grateful.
Thanks
These lads thought it OK to follow my son home and then grab some of his treasured possessions off him. Fortunately, I managed to track them down and recover the items they had snatched off him.
Click on each of the two thumbnails to enlarge:
